My Precious Kid® - Precious Kids Newsletter
October 2004

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Subjects: Homeschool / Adoption / Parenting / Work at Home
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RECIPE

Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars
These are rich and creamy bars that are my husband's favorite during the holiday season! He takes a batch along to all of his Christmas functions at work. The recipe is always requested so, now, I send a copy along with him! Prep Time: approx. 25 Minutes. Cook Time: approx. 35 Minutes.
Ready in: approx. 1 Hour . Makes 48 bars (48 servings).
Printed from Allrecipes, Submitted by Angie
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1 (16 ounce) package pound cake mix
3 eggs
2 tablespoons butter, melted
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped pecans

Directions
1 Preheat oven to 350 degrees C (175 degrees C). Coat a 15x10 inch jelly roll pan with non-stick spray.
2 In a large mixing bowl, on low speed, combine cake mix, 1 egg, margarine, and 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice until crumbly. Press onto bottom of prepared pan.
3 In another large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk, then remaining two eggs, pumpkin, remaining 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice, and salt; mix well. Pour over crust; sprinkle with pecans.
4 Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until set.
5 Cool, then chill in refrigerator. Cut into squares.
Store covered in refrigerator.

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ADOPTION

Adoption: Laughter and Tears
Written by: Tanya Sturman
Web Site: A Child's Desire, Children's Charity

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be an experience you’ll never forget. Witnessing children in poverty, children discarded, children stunted both physically and emotionally, will stir your heart beyond belief. And adopting a child is a joy as great as witnessing the first sharp intake of breath by your very own newborn infant.

The suffering of orphans vary from country to country, but even in the US, where conditions are as good as they get outside of Western Europe, less than 20% of those that age out of the foster care system are completely self-sufficient as young adults.

The conditions elsewhere are sad and sadder, and the need for families to take these children home is dire, in some cases a matter of life and death. The orphans in Sierra Leone bear pain and suffering that no human being should have to endure. Food, potable water, and healthcare are in short supply. The median age in Sierra Leone is 17. Due to war and shortages of food supply, many of these children won’t make it to that median age.

Children waiting for adoption in Sierra Leone.

The future looks bleak for even the average orphan. In Russia, 40% of the orphans who never find homes as children become homeless as adults, and 10% commit suicide after aging out of the system.

For those with special needs the future is even grimmer. Disabilities are not tolerated anywhere in the world as well as they are in the United States. Wheelchair ramps and accessible public bathrooms are just a couple of outward signs of how integrated our society is. In many countries, special needs orphans will never leave the institution. In Russia, they are considered incurable invalids and put in a sanatorium for life. Kimberly Reese described the situation in both Hungary and Bulgaria, “I saw NO special needs people ANYWHERE outside the orphanages.”

Susan Buchholz adopted from Vietnam twice. Both of her Vietnamese daughters are special needs children. The only people she saw outside the orphanage with disabilities were those peddling postcards to tourist.

She also witnessed many children begging on the streets. This image still haunts her. Poverty is a way of life in Vietnam. She describes bringing home her second daughter, Teresa. “Even at 14 months of age, she had only had formula and “rice soup” which I imagine to be a kind of rice cereal. Thai, from International Mission of Hope, told us that Vietnamese families do no teach their children to feed themselves until they are 7 or 8 years old to limit their intake of food. He said the teachers in the younger grades also feed their students for the same reason.”

Bulgaria’s orphans suffer emotional neglect. Kimberly Reese adopted two children from Hungary and one from Bulgaria. “Ella’s orphanage in Bulgaria was awful. I can say that both of my Hungarian children were well cared for and came home very stable emotionally. My Bulgarian child was clearly mistreated. …she was like a wild animal. It was very sad.”

Nikki from Hungary, and Ella from Bolivia. Like Susan, Kimberly adopted special needs children. Kimberly’s oldest child, Nikki, is missing most of her left hand. Nikki was offered to Kimberly and her husband by the adoption agency and since they didn’t think her special need was a big deal, they accepted her. “Once we got Nikki home, we realized that these kids rarely ever get adopted in Europe-- unless by Americans. Nikki is so wonderful. We requested special needs after that.” Ella’s special needs were emotional. Their youngest, David, was adopted from Hungary and doesn’t have any hands. “Because both Nikki and David have upper limb deformities, Ella always wants to be just like them. Strange, isn’t it? She wants a hand like Nikki’s or arms like David’s. I have seen her try to eat or drink using her elbows like David.”

These disabilities are a part of a natural life to Susan’s and Kimberly’s families. Life is a joy with their beautiful children, and if anything the disabilities create laughter. “One of the funniest comments I remember was when we first brought Nikki home. My cousin had adopted two kids form the states and we were having a party to celebrate. We were at the pizza place and my little cousin said, ‘Kim, don’t panic! They have got to be here somewhere!’ He was so serious that I started to get concerned as he almost frantically looked around for something. I said, ‘what is it, baby?!’ He said, ‘I’m sure Nikki had them when she came in but she has dropped three of her fingers!’ It was a scream!”

Many parents choose international adoption just for this reason. They can offer a better-- a much better-- life to a child from an underprivileged country. They can see an angel where others have only seen an invalid. They can offer steak and chocolate cake to a child that has hungered for rice.

Hundreds of thousands of children are waiting for families to rescue them from coming of age in an orphanage. For most the wait is futile.

Sadder yet are the potential matches between orphans and families that go unpaired. There are thousands of families with the financial and emotional resources it takes to raise another child. They are willing and eager to care for and love a child as their own but unable to come up with the large adoption fees required upfront. The $20,000 price tag is a hard hurdle to overcome.

Many adopting families beg and borrow enough to cover these initial fees from families and friends. Those who are able to cash in their IRAs or take out a second mortgage are fortunate. Some run up credit card debt to cover adoption fees. Many give up and never consider adopting again.

The road to adoption is steep, but the rewards are tremendous. Imagine giving a child a warm bubble bath before bed. Now imagine that this is a brand new experience for your child. Warm bath water is a luxury many of these children never know.

Even if you are unable to adopt a child yourself you can still make a difference by donating to a children’s charity which offers adoption grants to families adopting older or special needs children.

Tanya Sturman is the volunteer director for A Child’s Desire, Inc., a 501 c(3) children’s charity. A Child’s Desire offers adoption grants to children waiting over a year in an orphanage for a family to choose them. More information can be found at www.aChildsDesire.org  

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HOMESCHOOL

What Is Homeschooling And How Do I Know It's Right For My Family?
By Anita York
Web Site: You CAN Homeschool Your Child

Do you know what these famous people have in common?

Alexander Graham Bell
George Patton
Albert Einstein
Benjamin Franklin
Winston Churchill
Agatha Christie
George Bernard Shaw
Will Rogers

If you guessed that they were all homeschoolers, you'd be correct. This is a very short list of famous and successful people who were educated at home. If you would like to expand this list, do a search on the Internet for ?famous homeschoolers.? There are many websites that list these people and some provide detailed biographies. There is even a book called, aptly, ?Famous Homeschoolers,? by Nancy and Malcolm Plant.
http://www.fun-books.com/specials.htm  

The point here is to get into the mindset that people can be educated and become successful adults without attending public school. And because I can almost ?hear? what you are thinking, no, it is not necessary to have a high school diploma to go to college.

So what is homeschooling? In the broadest sense, homeschooling is educating your children at home. You, as parent, become teacher. Parents homeschool for more reasons than you can imagine. Some want to avoid having their children exposed to violence and peer pressure. Some homeschool so that they can make sure their children's education adheres to their religious beliefs. Some live a different lifestyle? perhaps they travel a lot? and want their children's schooling to be flexible enough to fit around that life style. And some, like me, simply enjoy being with their children. They don't want the public school to interrupt and weaken the parent/child bond that they have been working hard to create for the first five years of their child's life.

Just as there are many reasons to homeschool, there are many methods of homeschooling. All the way from ?un-schooling? (learning by doing, learning from life, not using textbook type materials) to ?school at home? (using textbooks at desks set up in a schoolroom at home) and everything in between. It's very easy to find hundreds of homeschool Websites by using a search engine, but just to get you started, try:
Jon's Homeschool Resource Page http://www.midnightbeach.com/hs/  

When I decided to write this article, I thought hard about what I could offer that wasn't being displayed on thousands of Websites on the Internet. I realized that the only thing I have to offer anyone interested in homeschooling is? my experience. So everything in the article below comes from my fifteen years of experience homeschooling my four youngest children. I hope it is of some use to you.

Deciding to homeschool your child may be one of the most important decisions you ever make as a parent, and it will take a lot of thought and soul searching. To the newcomer, it may seem impossible, overwhelming and very, very lonely. But like most huge obstacles, once it's broken down into smaller pieces, it becomes manageable. We'll take it one step at a time, in small enough chunks to get a hold of. So, if you're game, roll up your sleeves and let's get to work figuring out if homeschooling is for you and your child.

First things first. Organization is the key. Get a three-ring binder (homeschooling parent's LOVE three-ring binders) and put a label on the front. (If you've made the transition to digital record keeping, you can just start a folder on the computer. But it's not as much fun.) Label it something serious, like ? My Homeschooling Plans? or ?Homeschooling Thoughts.? Put some paper in the binder, find a really comfortable ink pen, and sit down somewhere quiet.

Ready? Good. Now, let's get started.

What are your reasons for considering homeschooling? Even if you haven't actually made the decision to homeschool, the fact that you are here reading this article says you are curious. Perhaps you honestly don't know the answer yet? and that's ok. The remainder of this article is going to try to help you start to find those answers.

Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states, but each state has it's own set of laws that must be followed. Compulsory (how I hate that word) education here in Washington State starts at the age of 8. Even though I had been homeschooling him from birth, to stay legal once my son reached 8-years old, I was required to become ?certified.? That meant I either had to have two years of college education, or take a ?certification class.? I met this requirement by taking an independent correspondence class, during which I was asked to put on paper my goals, philosophies and reasons for wanting to homeschool. I'd like to help you do the same right now.

Start a page--either the ?tree? kind or a file on the computer? and title it ?My Educational Beliefs.? List what personal beliefs you have about education? especially the education of your own children. Get as detailed as you can here--the value is in the thinking process behind the list. Take your time, I'm in no hurry.

As an example to get you started, I'm going to share with you what I wrote on my list nine years ago.

My Educational Beliefs

1. I believe my child's attitude about learning should be:
One of continual curiosity and seeking of knowledge.

2. I believe my child's learning should lead towards a lifestyle that is:
Rural, physically active, creative.

2. I believe these basic values should be part of my child's learning:
Respect for others
Loyalty to family and friends
Honesty
Generosity

2. I believe children learn best:
Through hands-on learning experience, reading, workbooks.

2. I believe a teacher should:

Provide side-by-side assistance and direction.
Interact with the child.
Provide the structure within which the child may explore, experiment, study and achieve.
Provide a good example of excitement in learning.

2. Other beliefs:

I believe my child should grow up to be self-reliant and occupationally secure in a field of high interest to them.

Now, that wasn't too bad, was it? Don't give up on this until you have at least something written down, but don't agonize over it either. You can come back to it later if need be. Next, start a paper or file titled ?Life Goals For My Child.?

I want you to write down what kind of person you envision your child being as an adult. What are your hopes and dreams for him/her? What educational gifts do you hope to be able to help them find that will serve them their entire lives?

I'll share mine from 9 years ago, just to get you started.

?Life Goals for My Child?

1. Be literate.
2. Be self-reliant.
3. Compete well in their chosen field of occupation.
4. Appreciate art, music, and literature.
5. Be creative.
6. Be inventive and resourceful.
7. Be healthy, mentally and physically.
8. Co-operate with others.
9. Maintain a strong sense of self-worth.
10. Maintain a life-long curiosity, seeking knowledge as a way of life.
11. Look to the future with a sense of excitement and adventure.

For the last exercise, start a third paper titled: Why We (I) Am Going To Homeschool Our (My) Child? (Yes, single parents can successfully homeschool their children.) You may not have all the answers for this one yet either, but just get something down. All of these ideas and beliefs can start getting mixed in with other people's opinions once we start educating ourselves in depth about homeschooling, and you'll be glad you have these lists tucked away.

Okay, here's my old list:

Why We Are Going To Homeschool Our Children

Our family consists of myself, my husband, a 21-year-old daughter, a 19-year-old daughter, an 8-year-old son, a 7-year-old daughter, a 4-½ year old daughter, and an unborn son due in 6 months. My two oldest daughters (from my first marriage) were in the public school system for the whole of their educational years. It is largely a dissatisfaction with the public schools and all it's attendant problems (academic, social, and moral) that has caused us to make the decision to homeschool our youngest children. We decided, even before our 8-year-old son (the oldest of the younger set) was born, that somehow we would find an alternative to the public schools.

We want to homeschool for some additional reasons. We want added closeness with our children. We want more independence, greater control over our family's moral and philosophical values, and better awareness of our children's interests.

We dislike the thought of any government agency--no matter how well meaning--directing the raising of our children.

We intend to homeschool because we do not want our children's academic, social, and moral education taken out of our hands.

We believe these areas of a child's education are a parent's responsibility, right, and pleasure.

I'd like you to spend some time going over these lists until you feel they accurately reflect your feelings about homeschooling your children. When I did these exercises, I had only a vague idea about why I wanted to homeschool and what kind of education I wanted to help my children acquire. These simple exercises helped me to ?solidify? my ideas and provided the basis for our future homeschooling methods. I hope they help you to do the same. Keep these lists in a safe place and add to them as you explore the possibility of homeschooling your child.

Anita York has been homeschooling her four youngest children for the past 15 years. In addition, she teaches other homeschoolers at two resource centers, and is a contracted Senior Editor, Editor, Copyeditor and Manuscript Screener for three different on-line publishers--one print.

Her book "You CAN Homeschool Your Child" is available from One-At-A-Time Enterprises, the business she started with her homeschoolers. Available at:
http://www.L7S.net/Item.php?ID=YC000  .

Her home business, EagleMountain Reading, Writing, and Research Services
http:// www.L7s.net/eaglemountain   provides a variety of services geared towards helping beginning as well as established authors with various aspects of the writing process.

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HOME BUSINESS

Things to do when you feel like quitting your online business
Web Site: http://www.talfighel.com
Copyright 2004 Tal Fighel

There are many business skills that need to be learned during your online business venture, but there is one that needs to be mastered. That skill is the ability to not give up, despite many failures along the way.

Here are 9 things that you can do when you feel like quitting your online business. It has worked well for me and others. It can help you too.

1. When you do feel very stressed out, frustrated, angry, and about to quit, take some nice, deep cleansing breaths. This will relax your mind and body.

2. If you feel like quitting, step back and give yourself some breathing room. Don’t spend too much time online. Instead, spend shorter times going through your business (15 minutes each time).

3. Exercise is one of the best stress relievers that you should do on a daily basis. Walking, running, dancing, or whatever form of exercise you choose has many benefits for a stress free mind while building your online business. Do this on a regular basis.

4. Shut the computer down for the day and turn your attention to other things in your life that make you feel absolutely great. Anything that takes your mind off your business can and will help.

5. Tell yourself that you are a winner. Winners like you never quit, and quitters never win. You are not like them. You have to know that you are a winner no matter what.

6. Don't give up and quit when you feel like it. Success could be just around the corner. Desperation has a way of getting your mental juices flowing and there just may be a solution in that flow. Now, if you were just one step away from reaching your goal, would you take that step? What a
shame it would be to stop making the effort, when just a little bit more would make it all worthwhile. What a shame it would be to have taken all those steps, only to miss the very last one. The next step you take may very well be the one that makes all the others count. At some point success
is just one step away. Keep going and you'll be there.

7. Many successful people online today overcame many obstacles and road bumps along the way. Every time you feel like quitting, think about those people and know that they never quit when things were down for them.

8. Reading motivational books and listening to tapes can be a great way to stay motivated. It has great powers to inspire people. Everyone does it and you should too.

9. Giving up is NOT an option. Look for other ways to improve your business until you do find what works for you.
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Tal Fighel is the editor and publisher of Home Business
Tips Newsletter: http://www.talfighel.com/   Complete Money
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